Four minutes until I can fart!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
