KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
