I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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