doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
