This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
