Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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