Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
