i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
