4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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