Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
