What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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