I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
