You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
