just come out here and I will go home with you...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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