I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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