YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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