Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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