Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
