I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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