my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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