I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
