i barfeds in our rink
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
