Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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