Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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