if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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