ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
