just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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