wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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