Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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