Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
