This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
