but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
