WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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