I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
