you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
