I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
