I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
