I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
