Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
