He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
