my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
