I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
