So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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