i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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