that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize