Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
