So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
