escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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