There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I didn't notice because vodka
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
