I can tuck mytits in my pants
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
