I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
