hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
