Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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