I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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