Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
