You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You ate ashes out of my bong
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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