I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
