i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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