In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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