Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
