The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
