ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
