Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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