Your tits are I can't wait for
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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