dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
