Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
And my parents said I crawled through the house
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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