After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
