Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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