its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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