Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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