I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Houston, we have a blender
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
