Taylor Swift is so right about you.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
