so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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