he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
