I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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