She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize