And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize