Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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